Today I made a list of my fears:
end of the world
loved one dying
not being loved back.
While tearing down holiday merchandise at work today, I got to thinking of things I feared. Legitimate things I am terrified of. Some may be funny, but I find it more humorous that the listed things are things others have gotten through (including myself). Swimming: I can’t swim, however I can accomplish the back stroke no problem. Not being loved: I was dumped for this reason! and who cares, my mom and dad are fond of me. Children: Gross, but I deal with these germ infested snot rags on a day to day basis at work and through my friends offspring, however, if you have one… that kid is yours! you are to be their role model, let’s talk about pressure. Death: a lot of loved ones have passed, I thought I would die if grandpa did, and he did 12 years ago. Rats: ex roommate was a psycho and got a coupling of them, I only lived there for 24hrs after she had them there. Regardless, I made it 24 hrs. Paper cuts: a weekly event of flesh slicing torture, but I work in a paper world. Spicy food: only flaming hot cheetos, it scares me to think of my stomach acid breaking that stuff down. Hospitals: machines, oxygen tanks, people telling you if you are healthy or not. Choking: duh! you can’t breathe! Sharp objects: I work with scissors. Marriage: never done, but the thought of telling one person you love them enough to be with them for ever and ever until you or they die someday is quite the contract. Marriage is my biggest fear. I can and have gotten through my fears, including flying in an airplane, bunjee jumping, snakes, dogs, shots, but the thought of forever and ever is crazy.
Here I am, another day to be thankful my life is what it is. It is slow, and it is exactly what I would want it to be. Also, I was called “Leslie sweet leslie” today. He said it was because I am a nice girl. I listened to him complain about his upcoming marriage< fear. Thanks for reading you!