Scaredy Cat

Today I made a list of my fears:



spicy food

paper cuts


sharp objects



end of the world


loved one dying


not being loved back.

While tearing down holiday merchandise  at work today, I got to thinking of things I feared. Legitimate things I am terrified of. Some may be funny, but I find it more humorous that the listed things are things others have gotten through (including myself). Swimming: I can’t swim, however I can accomplish the back stroke no problem. Not being loved: I was dumped for this reason! and who cares, my mom and dad are fond of me. Children: Gross, but I deal with these germ infested snot rags on a day to day basis at work and through my friends offspring, however, if you have one… that kid is yours! you are to be their role model, let’s talk about pressure. Death: a lot of loved ones have passed, I thought I would die if grandpa did, and he did 12 years ago. Rats: ex roommate was a psycho and got a coupling of them, I only lived there for 24hrs after she had them there. Regardless, I made it 24 hrs. Paper cuts: a weekly event of flesh slicing torture, but I work in a paper world. Spicy food: only flaming hot cheetos, it scares me to think of my stomach acid breaking that stuff down. Hospitals: machines, oxygen tanks, people telling you if you are healthy or not. Choking: duh! you can’t breathe! Sharp objects: I work with scissors. Marriage: never done, but the thought of telling one person you love them enough to be with them for ever and ever until you or they die someday is quite the contract. Marriage is my biggest fear. I can and have gotten through my fears, including flying in an airplane, bunjee jumping, snakes, dogs, shots, but the thought of forever and ever is crazy.

Here I am, another day to be thankful my life is what it is. It is slow, and it is exactly what I would want it to be. Also, I was called “Leslie sweet leslie” today. He said it was because I am a nice girl. I listened to him complain about his upcoming marriage< fear. Thanks for reading you!



“Live your Dash”

I started today by praying. I normally don’t, I had stopped over a year ago because I was confused, and quite honestly I still am, however, my grandpa didn’t raise me to forget my morals, or the lessons he spent time in teaching me. So I prayed. It felt weird and wrong only because I don’t want to be a hypocrite. We all need to believe in something though.

Today I went back to work, with a new attitude, and enthusiasm. It could be that I’m on this whole “it’s a new year, fresh start” phase, however I hope it’s a phase I can stick with. It could also be that one of the documentaries I watched over the weekend was “Into the Abyss” a story on a young man on death row  leading up to his execution day. Great film, important message. LIVE YOUR DASH- the dash in between your date of birth and the date of death, that dash is your life. A “YOLO” if you will. Anyway, today’s work day wasn’t bad, just odd. We had three people walk in asking for money, one very drunk, and the others just down on their luck. One things for sure, we need a security guard there. I also visited Tracey today, because she’s sick and thought maybe some laughs might help. So I told her some more of my vaulted up embarrassing stories and here’s one for you:

In 2011 I lived in Chicago for the summer, I had gone out with my friend Zack in Wrigleyville. A drunk girl had just fallen on her face and I couldn’t stop laughing. I had already called her an idiot, and pointed laughing at how embarrassed she must’ve felt. Not 1 minute later we began to walk away and I tripped on one of Chicago’s well paved sidewalks, landed on my hands but lost control and kissed the ground. Zack was laughing so hard he delayed in picking me up. We then got in a cab, and the driver said “I saw you fall are you okay?” he was parked across the street.

So after Trace heard my story we watched my recent favorite YouTube video “You forgot the blueberries”- enjoy.


Hope you liked that. After my visit I came home to find my beloved grandma sad. She told me how lonesome she’s been, so I offered to spend a day with her, but what she misses is companionship. This led me to give my 75 year old grandma a pep talk on dating(cause I have all the luck) and confidence. A 75 year old woman that is not sure of herself or her own accomplishments really upset me. So I made a list of things I see she has accomplished. She looked at the list and she cried, she said it had been the first time she ever felt recognized. I love my grandma, I admire her and her what she’s established for herself and I wish for her to find happiness in herself and someday maybe a gentleman. With that said, I never want to be in that position.

Today was a good day. I snuck in a quick mile run, and pulled something somewhere on my butt, so as of right not I have a mix of ice pack hot pad going on. Hope you, whoever you are reading this (thank you) had a good day as well.

Here’s a song stuck in my head:

2012 A year of Happiness

In 2012 I was fortunate to have two jobs, both in which I love. I got promoted in both Jobs, and moving into 2013 I have the goal to accomplish a lot more in my positions.

My Dad, Mom and Stepdad are healthy and for the most part happy. I am lucky to have them in my life and appreciate all the times my family and I got together this year.

I feel like I got a lot done in 2012 for my career. I am very proud of myself and my hard work. I feel incredibly satisfied, and just happy to be in my position. It sounds kinda dumb, but I feel like a free bird. There is nothing tying me down, there is nothing distracting me, I got the green light and haven’t taken my foot off the pedal. I have no idea what will come in 2013 but I hope I am as ballsy as I was this past year in taking a chance in myself and pushing.

It was a great year for me. I learned a lot about people, met new great people, became closer friends with the ones I have. Aside from my jobs, and family, my friends this year have taught me a lot. They are encouraging, motivated and good people. They made my happiness. This year I met Juan Carlos, a mexican yes, but a great guy. Steven and Amanda, my babies that watch over me. Tracey always ❤ the strongest girl I know.

Tracey had the unfortunate loss of her mom Barb this year. It was hard watching the pain, and continues to be hard to see her struggle day to day but as a best friend all I can do is be there. So I will be there in full force in 2013. I hope I am as good of a friend to these guys as they are to me.

2012 holds a lot of great memories. Nashville trips, Chicago a lot, concerts and art scenes I never thought I’d see, or be able to be a part of.I got to eat whatever I wanted to, Drank in good company. Worked out a lot so it wouldn’t show.  I am just really lucky. I am so happy. Thanks 2012, hope lady 2013 is as beautiful as you are.


Free Drink Tip: become friends with a bartender. Sarah from Carlyle 🙂


some of my 2012 favorite tracks:

Alabama Shakes- Hold On

The Xx- Angels

Daniel Ellsworth & The Great Lakes- Wolf is Me

Young Readers-Boxcar

Twin Shadow- Five Seconds

Diamond Rings- Runaway Love

Marques Toliver- Deep In My Heart

Frank Ocean- Thinkin Bout You

Wild Child- Pillow Talk

Reptar- Houseboat Babies

The Lumineers- Morning Song

Kids These Days- Wasting Time

Brandy- Put it down (to feel sexy)

Loverlance- Beat it Up (come on)